Jack nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I actually am. Confused. Not sure whether to be pissed or happy or...” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Confused.”
Ally swallowed hard. It was surprisingly hard to think of Jack and Brittany as parents. A couple. A couple with something linking them together, forever. They’d been in love once. It wasn’t out of the question that they could care about each other again, especially since they had a daughter to bring them together. The idea caused an ache in her chest. She cleared her throat. “I’m sure Brittany is doing a great job of raising your daughter.”
Jack started the car. “How about we go out for dinner somewhere?” he offered. “My treat. To make up for all the bread I ate this morning.”
Ally laughed. “Oh yeah, that’s a fair deal. But, sure.”
“You decide where. I have no clue.”
She chose a restaurant closer to her home and again gave driving directions to get there. The funky, casual place usually had a long wait for a table, but it was early and they were shown right in.
“This is nice,” Jack said approvingly, checking the place out. Huge bronze and glass light fixtures hung from the high ceiling. Dark wood tables and chairs sat in the center of the room and upholstered booths lined the walls.
“You’re a world traveler now.” Ally wondered how this measured up to some of the places he’d been. He laughed.
“Yeah. But this is great.” Their eyes met and he blew out a long breath. “Wow. I’m sorry to drag you into this, Ally.”
She looked at him and tipped her head. “Isn’t that why you came? To drag me into this?”
His eyes widened and she smiled.
“I’m kidding. Sort of.” How could she not be involved? They were friends, despite her anger at him for ignoring her for the last five years.
“I didn’t really expect you to come and see Brittany with me,” he said slowly, his features relaxing. “Thank you.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
He nodded, played with the knife and fork in front of him. “Will you come with me tomorrow?”
Her heart expanded in her chest at his low, husky question, his head bent as he looked down at the fork. “Of course.”
He looked up and the emotions darkening his eyes and the lines bracketing his mouth made her throat tighten. “Thanks, Ally. I know this isn’t your mess to deal with, so...thanks.”
She nodded, not sure if her voice would come out if she spoke. There was silence for a moment, while she swallowed hard a couple of times.
“Tell me what you’ve done, Jack,” she finally said. “Tell me about your work.”

***
Over dinner they set aside the monumental problem of Jack’s fatherhood, and he talked about his work in Iraq.
“Things aren’t always like you expect,” he commented slowly. “I spent some time embedded with the Marines.” She nodded, but didn’t say she already knew that. “It was quite an experience. I had to train like I was one of them. Lifting weights, climbing ropes, trekking for miles in the desert. Man,” he shook his head. “Physically, that was tough.”
She eyed his broad chest and shoulders, his hard muscles.
“But it was almost more of a challenge mentally.”
“How so?” She watched his face as he talked, trying to interpret the various emotions passing across it.
“When you’re an embed you have to agree the military has control over the work you do that gets out. I started to almost feel like I was betraying my profession.” He shook his head. “You can lose your objectivity. You stop asking the hard questions, start accepting things. Every day we journalists tried to remind ourselves we weren’t one of them, but you hear the same messages over and over, and it gets to you. And you start to develop relationships, friendships...when you have those ties, you might not be so objective. I wanted to see more. I wanted to know the Iraqi people. I won’t go into detail, but there were stories I wanted to tell that...well, let’s just say not everyone wanted them told.” He lifted a broad shoulder. “So I went out on my own.”
“Oh.” Ally’s eyes widened. “That must have been even more dangerous.”
“Yeah. Without the protection of the military, I was taking some risks. I hooked up with a few other journalists. Another American, a Canadian, and an Irish guy. We traveled around together. We got into some trouble, some pretty tight situations. But we had a lot of laughs, too.” He smiled and she saw the fondness he’d had for these fellow journalists. “I took some time off and I traveled in Europe a bit. Got to see something more than just ‘shock and awe’.
“Then about two years ago I got to know a contact in the Mahdi Army, in Baghdad.”
She looked inquiringly at him.
“The Mahdi Army is a militant branch of the Shiite movement to resist American occupation.”
“Oh.”
“So Mohim and I worked together. He knew I was American and he was basically keeping an eye on me and what I was doing, but on the other hand, he let me get inside and see things that no one else could. You know, you get a whole different perspective on things when you make friends with people. I got incredible access to the workings of the Mahdi Army. There were times where Mohim stood up for me, vouched for the fact that I wasn’t an American spy. I owed him my life more than once. He was a young guy, same age as me, but married with a little baby.” The intense sadness in Jack’s eyes made her skin prickle in anticipation of what she was going to hear.
***
Jack looked down at the table as he talked, picked up a fork and turned it over. “One day I was at Mohim’s home, having tea. I never met his wife. She always stayed in the back room of his home when I was there. We heard the helicopters coming and then the explosions. Mohim and I ran out into the street. I grabbed my camera, of course. They were firing basically right at us. Mohim’s house was destroyed.” He looked up, and the pain and anguish in his eyes made Ally’s eyes sting. “His wife and baby were killed that day. After that, he was a different man. He was from a poor neighborhood in Baghdad. All he’d ever wanted was a life with dignity and freedom. He never had that under Saddam Hussein. And then he never had that with the foreign invasion. All he’d ever known was violence and struggle.”
“Oh, Jack.” Ally watched Jack as he talked, definitely older and wiser now, a little world-weary and cynical.
“But it puts things in perspective.” He fingered the stem of a water goblet.
“It does make you realize what’s important. And how trivial some of our problems seem.”
He nodded. Their eyes met in mutual understanding. She wanted to reach across the table and take hold of his hand to show him she understood, even though she had never experienced anything like he had. But she stopped herself. Memory of the last night she’d seen Jack before he’d left - the way he’d touched her as he adjusted her position for her graduation photograph - sent a shimmer of sensation through her.
They had finished their dinner. “Tell me more,” she invited. “I remember hearing about all the antiquities that were destroyed. That’s so tragic.”
“Well, we still don’t really know the whole truth about that,” Jack answered. “The Iraq National Museum was definitely looted, but there were some miscommunications ...” his mouth twisted wryly, “...or something, about how much was actually destroyed. Some thought looters had even accessed the museum’s underground vaults and destroyed priceless ceramics that had been packed away there. Ceramics that tell the story of civilizations over nine thousand years in Mesopotamia. But apparently museum staff hid a lot of the items in secret locations.”
“Wow,” Ally breathed. “That’s lucky.”
“Yeah. They had a plan in place from the Gulf War to hide things.”
Ally shook her head, amazed at Jack’s experiences, at what he’d learned. What a remarkable man. He put his own life on the line to make sure people around the world saw what was happening.
Typical of him, too, he hadn’t wanted to be bound by rules that kept him from following his own values, his honesty, his deep-seated desire to always do the right thing. As a photojournalist, he felt an obligation to tell the truth, no matter how difficult it was for him.
And now...he wasn’t running or hiding from his obligations. Something expanded and warmed in her chest. It might have been her heart, which had been frozen for a long time. It felt...scary.
She frowned, looked down at the table and said, “I’m still mad at you.”

Extreme Close Up Chapter 7

By maythiphoto machine Photobucket


Brittany looked down at her coffee again and Jack studied his old girlfriend. “I don’t get why after nine years you finally decided to tell me.”
“Well...Sarah’s been asking questions about her dad lately. She always has, but now it seems she’s almost desperate to have a father.”
“What have you told her about me?”
Brittany nibbled her bottom lip. “Nothing.” She lifted anxious eyes to his. “I’m sorry, Jack. Please don’t think I wanted to cut you out of her life or discount you in any way. It just seemed...easier to not get her hopes up, to not make you seem too real to her, when I had no intention of ever actually contacting you. You know.”
Jack’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Never? You were never going to tell me I had a daughter?”
They stared at each other and the warmth of Ally’s hand covered his on the table and gently squeezed. He turned his palm and wrapped his fingers around hers, taking comfort from the gesture almost without conscious thought.
Brittany nodded, eyes downcast again. “I’m sorry. I really am. I was only trying to do what I thought was best for my daughter. Truly, I love her so much, I’d do anything to protect her, to care for her...you have to understand a mother’s love, I think, to really get that.” Her voice shook and Jack noticed Ally reach over and take hold of Brittany’s hand, too.
It blew his mind, sitting there with Ally holding both their hands, connecting them through her. She always understood, always offered compassion and comfort. He remembered so well the night he’d told Ally about Brittany’s pregnancy - Ally’s shock, but also her empathy, and her unconditional support.
“Maybe I’d understand if I’d had the opportunity to be a father to her.”
Brittany winced and glanced at Ally, who bit her lip. “You’re absolutely right.” Brittany’s voice shook. “I can only say I’m sorry so many times. I thought I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t trying to take something away from you. You know?”
“What about Sarah? What have you taken away from her by not having her father in her life all these years?”
Blue eyes glossed with tears and Brittany swiped a hand under each eye. “I still think it was the right thing to do,” she whispered. “I don’t want to fight with you, Jack. I know you’re angry, and you have a right to be. But I’m asking you to put that aside for your daughter.”
Jack glanced at Ally, saw the compassion in her eyes. God, he needed her take on all this, needed her to put it into perspective because right now, his mind was fried.
“I can do that,” he said slowly. “I don’t know what exactly you expect from me right now. But I’m here, so that says something.”
“It says a lot,” she replied softly. “So if you want to meet her, I’ll set something up. When do you want to do it?”
Again Jack glanced at Ally, a little surprised to find himself relying on her.
“It’s up to you,” Ally said softly, their hands still clasped on the table. “How long can you stay?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I can take a couple of weeks off.” He’d worked for Firestone Images since he’d left college, had rarely taken any vacation time.
“Just a couple of weeks?” Brittany’s face drooped with disappointment. Man, what did she expect?
“I do have a job I have to go back to. How long did you think I should stay? Will it upset Sarah if she meets me and I leave again?”
Brittany chewed her lip again. “Well. Yes. It might.”
“Britt, you knew I wasn’t coming home permanently.”
She sighed. “I know. I guess I was just hoping you might be around a little longer...to get to know her.”
Jack and Ally exchanged a glance. “I’ll see if I can stay a little longer, but no guarantees.”
Brittany’s eyes grew pensive for a long moment. “If it’s okay with you, I’m not going to tell her right away who you are. You two can meet, and I’ll tell her you’re an old friend of mine. Then we’ll play it by ear. You know?”
No. He didn’t know. He had no freakin’ clue. But a strange pinch of disappointment smarted inside him that Sarah wouldn’t know he was her dad. God. What a mess.
“Sure. It’s up to you, Britt. You know best what’s good for Sarah.”
“Do you want to meet her tomorrow?”
His gut tightened and his blood surged through his veins. “Uh...sure. Okay.”
“Where are you staying?”
“With me,” Ally put in. “You’re welcome to come to my place if you want.”
“Whatever you think would be best for Sarah,” Jack repeated.
“How about you both come over to my place?” Brittany proposed. “I’ll tell her that you’re an old friend in town for a visit.”
“Do you want me to come?” Ally’s voice was low beside Jack. He turned to her. Yeah, hell yeah, he did want her there. He couldn’t imagine doing this without her. But, Christ, she didn’t need to get dragged into this mess.
“We can talk about that later,” he said. He turned back to Brittany. “Where do you live?”
She wrote down her address. “I still live here in Pasadena, near my aunt and uncle.” She handed it to him, and they all stood up.
“I know this is crazy,” Brittany said as they walked out of the coffee shop. “Again, I’m really sorry, you know. I didn’t want to mess up your life all those years ago, and...” Her voice thickened. “Now I have anyway.”
Jack stopped on the sidewalk outside, looked at Brittany. “It’s my fault this all happened,” he said quietly. “So don’t be too hard on yourself.”
She gave him a shaky smile and then Ally and Jack climbed into his rental car. They sat there for a moment. Ally looked at Jack.
“Are you okay?” she asked.

Extreme Close Up Part 6

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Ally came to consciousness shortly before eight o’clock and the memory that Jack was there, sleeping in her spare bedroom, catapulted her mind into wakefulness. There was no way she was going back to sleep. With a sigh, she swung her legs out of bed and sat there.
Although she worked at home now, she disciplined herself to rise at seven-thirty every morning and stuck to a schedule as much as she could. But on weekends she allowed herself the luxury of staying in bed as long as she wanted and only worked if she felt a burning need to get stuff down. When things were going well with her writing, she just wanted to keep going and never stop. Too bad that hadn’t happened recently. Lately, she’d rather scrub her toilets than sit in front of that computer.
She loved sleeping in. Loved snuggling into the covers, inhaling the familiar warm scent of them, stretching her limbs against their silky softness, letting her mind wander wherever it wanted to.
But today…Jack was there. She slowly shook her head as she stood and walked into her bathroom to have a shower. It was unbelievable.
She pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, leaving her feet bare. When she opened her door and stepped into the hallway, her eyes shot straight to the door of Jack’s room, still closed. Probably burnt out after traveling halfway around the world, not to mention all the emotional exhaustion of finding out he had a daughter.
She couldn’t imagine what that would be like. He must be completely thunderstruck. What had Brittany been thinking? But then, again, maybe Brittany had done him a favor. What would Jack’s life have been like had he known about the baby? He would have married Brittany. He likely wouldn’t have been able to go to college, probably would have gotten a job at the Garden City Sun, taking pictures of 4H events and little league games. He’d have been miserable without the excitement and adrenaline rush of getting those risky but revealing shots. Everyone always knew he was destined for great things with his incredible talent and adventurous streak.
In her small, bright kitchen she started a pot of coffee, plunged some bread into the toaster, then went to find her newspaper. Outside, she shivered in the damp morning air. The cement of her front doorstep chilled her bare toes. The rhythmic whoosh of the neighbor’s sprinkler watering his lush lawn had her frowning at the brown patch of grass in front of her building. Ah, well.
Back in the kitchen when she heard movement upstairs she tensed, then forced herself to relax. It was Jack, for God’s sake. The person in the world she should be most comfortable with. Except...everything was different. He was different.
His footsteps thunked down the stairs a few minutes later and she turned to him as he entered the kitchen. Her heart gave a little extra beat. She still couldn’t get over how he’d changed. He was a man.
She almost laughed at the thought. He’d always been a man. But now he was...a man. Big and dark, clear blue eyes compelling in his tanned face, the experiences he’d had gave him a mature, guarded look that was intensely masculine and...sexual. That intense, moody side of him she’d sometimes seen in high school seemed closer to the surface, and it was...disturbing.


“Good morning,” she said, smiling and trying to keep her voice from shaking. “Want some coffee?”
“Oh, yeah, I need coffee.”
She jumped off her stool to get a mug for him. She handed it to him and he poured the coffee.
“Um...you need milk.”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’ve gotten used to it black. Black and really strong.”
“I have toast. Or blueberry muffins.” She leaned on the counter as he lifted the steaming cup to his lips, nicely shaped, firm but full. She dragged her gaze away from them. “And juice.”
“Toast is fine. I’m starving.”
She reached for the bread, but he waved her aside. “I can make it,” he said. “You finish yours. You got peanut butter?” “Sure.”
“God, I missed peanut butter.” He took the jar from her, opened it and sniffed it. “Oh, yeah.”
Something so simple gave him so much pleasure, and reminded her how long he’d been gone. “I’d love to hear about the places you’ve been. Sometime.”
“Be careful. I could talk for hours.”
He devoured the first two pieces of toast, popped two more into the toaster, then another two. She watched him finish off the loaf of bread with astonishment. “I guess I forgot how much you like to eat,” she told him faintly.
“I’ll buy you another loaf of bread.”
She looked at him and saw the glint in his eye.
“Damn right you will.”
They both grinned. And just like that, things were easy again.
With a feeling of buoyancy, Ally got up to slide their plates into the dishwasher and refill their coffee mugs. “Did you sleep okay?” she asked.
“Not really.” He shrugged. “Had a lot on my mind. I was kind of wired.”
“No kidding.” Her heart squeezed tightly in her chest. “It’ll be okay, Jack.”
One corner of his mouth deepened. “Sure. I guess I should call Brittany and let her know I’m here.” He looked at his watch, then reached for the cell phone on his belt. He thumbed through his contacts and then pressed the button to dial.
When he’d finished the awkward conversation with Brittany, they’d arranged to meet that afternoon at a Starbucks near her place. Then he tried Carter again, but once again, no luck.
Ally frowned. “I wonder if he’s out of town. He does travel back and forth to San Diego quite a bit.”
Jack nodded.
“So,” Ally said brightly. “Do you want me to come with you this afternoon?”


* * *


Jack knew he should be strong enough to do it on his own, but damn, he’d wanted her to come. Her calmness soothed him, made him feel like it would all be okay. And it wasn’t like they had any secrets from each other. He didn’t know what Brittany would think of it, but hey, why should he care - this was the woman who’d kept his daughter from him for nine years.
“Yeah, sure,” he’d said gruffly in response to her question. .
Now his gut clenched as he drove, following Ally’s directions to Pasadena. He pulled onto the freeway, accelerated up to the speed of the LA traffic. Sun glinted off speeding chrome and glass surrounding them, and heat shimmered off concrete as he manoeuvred the curves and lane changes. Ally told him which exit to take and soon they pulled into a strip mall parking lot, outside a Starbucks.
The cool air conditioning hit them as they walked in. The hiss and growl of the espresso machine floated over the chatter of the Saturday afternoon crowd and a rich warm coffee aroma scented the air. Brittany sat at a small table in the back.
She looked different. She wore her blonde hair shorter now, and fine lines around her eyes and mouth hinted at fatigue...and nerves.
The whole situation was surreal.
“I hope you don’t mind that Ally came,” he said to Brittany.
She shook her head. “No. That’s fine. It’s nice to see you again, Ally. Do you two want to get coffee?”
When they were all settled at the table, fragrant cups steaming in front of them, Brittany said, “Well. This is awkward.” All three huffed an uncomfortable laugh. “I guess I should start.”
Jack saw Ally smile encouragingly at Brittany. Ally and Brittany had been pretty good friends too.
“Um...where’s Sarah?” Jack asked.
“At home. With a babysitter. I didn’t want to just introduce you two to each other without preparing her. Or you.”
Jack nodded. Some of his tension seeped out of him at the knowledge he didn’t have to deal with that emotional land mine right now.
“I guess I owe you an apology first,” Brittany said slowly, looking down at her coffee. She swallowed, then raised her eyes to Jack’s. “I never told you about Sarah because I knew if I did, you would stay.”
He stared at her. “Oh.”
She continued. “I know you would have done whatever I wanted. You even would have married me if I’d pushed. You had so much talent, everyone knew you were going to do great things. I didn’t want to get in the way of that. And the truth is, I wasn’t ready to get married either. So I told you I’d had a miscarriage.” She looked away. “I came and stayed with my aunt and uncle here in Pasadena.”
“You’re not...married?” He felt Ally’s glance.
Brittany shook her head. “No. I almost got married...a couple of years ago. But...stuff got in the way.” She waved a hand. “Never mind about that right now.”
“Tell me more about Sarah.”
“Well, she’s nine years old. People say she looks like me.”
Jack smiled. “Blonde hair? Blue eyes?”
“Yes.” Pride glowed in her eyes. “And she’s smart, too. She learned how to read before she even started kindergarten and she gets great marks at school. Her teachers love her. She does ballet and gymnastics. Her favorite food is pepperoni pizza.”
“She sounds...perfect.”
Brittany made a face. “Well, she’s almost perfect.”
“So, when do I get to meet her?”
Brittany searched his face. “You really do want to meet her?”
His brows rose. “I wouldn’t have come home if I didn’t want to.”
Relief lightened her features. “That’s good. I know I called you out of the blue, but...”
“Why did you call me now, Britt?”

Extreme Close Up Chapter 5

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Jack sat back and took a breath. “Okay. Remember Brittany Fullerton?”
She blinked. “Yes, of course.” How could she forget? Brittany had been Jack’s high school girlfriend. In their senior year, Brittany had gotten pregnant. It had been an agonizing time for all of them―Jack and his family, Brittany’s family, Ally and Carter too, as they tried to help their best friend get through it.
“Well,” he wrestled with the words. “She didn’t have a miscarriage.”
She stared at him. “Huh? Yes she did.”
“No. She told me she did. Her parents made her stay away from me. She called me and told me she’d had a miscarriage. Then we went away to college and I never saw her again. Apparently she moved away from Garden City and lived with some relatives. She had the baby in December that year.”
“Oh my God,” Ally whispered, her breath catching. Holy freaking crap. “How do you know that?”
“She called me. A couple of weeks ago.”
Ally shook her head, still dumbfounded. “She called you? How did she know how to get hold of you?” And I didn’t, were the unspoken words in her head.
“She tracked me down through the agency. She e-mailed me. It took a while for it to get around to me. When I got it, I called her. She lives in LA now, believe it or not.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” She blinked, her head whirling. How could this be? Questions ricocheted around in her brain. “Why? Why did she call you now? Why did she keep that from you all these years? Oh, my God, Jack.”
“I know. I had all the same questions.” He gave her a rueful smile. “I only talked to her for a few minutes on the phone so I don’t have all the answers yet.”
“Is it...do you have a son...or a daughter?” Her insides clenched with emotions that she couldn’t even begin to identify, so many of them, tangled and twisting.
“A daughter.” Jack’s lips compressed and he looked down at his hands. “She’s nine years old. Her name is Sarah.”
“Wow.” No other words came to mind. Just...“Wow.”
“Yeah. Took me by surprise, too. My life is pretty much turned upside down right now.”
“Oh, Jack.”
Memories of the night Jack had told her about Brittany’s pregnancy flooded Ally’s mind, all those emotions deluging her again, and her throat closed up. He’d been devastated by the pregnancy, had agonized over what to do. He’d wanted so badly to do the right thing, but the choices he’d faced had been formidable―standing by Brittany and being a father to his child, or leaving to pursue the photojournalism career he’d always wanted. No, not just wanted. He’d been destined for that career.
He was her best friend. Back then she’d vowed to stand by him no matter what, and she had. And she would do it again. Her anger toward him dissipated like morning fog in the sun. She never could stay mad at anyone for long. Especially Jack.
She laid a hand on top of his warm brown fingers. For a moment they just looked down at her hand on his, so much smaller, her skin pale compared to his dark tan. Then Jack turned his hand and clasped hers and raised tortured eyes to her face.

* * *

“Oh, Jack,” she said again, her velvet-soft voice brushing over him. “That is unbelievable.”
“She said she’ll explain more when I see her. So here I am.”
“You haven’t seen her yet?”
He shook his head. “Just got off the plane a few hours ago. I stayed in London last night. I’m kind of wiped, so I planned to call her tomorrow.”
Ally nodded again, her fingers twined with his.
“You may as well stay here tonight,” she said slowly. “You’re tired and it’s no big deal. We...I mean, I have a guest room. You can try to get hold of Carter tomorrow.”
“Thanks.” What a fucking roller coaster ride this was. He’d expected a warm welcome from his old friends, discovered they’d split up, found out Ally was pissed as hell at him. Now she’d offered to let him stay there ...relief lightened some of the worries weighing him down although a hard knot remained in his gut.
“What are friends for?” She cleared her throat.
“I did keep in touch with Carter, I swear to you.” He wanted her to believe him. “I assumed he was passing on news to you. I don’t know what the hell he was doing, but please believe me Ally.”
She gazed back at him, eyes full of questions but then she nodded. “We’ll track down Carter tomorrow and find out what the hell game he was playing.” Her pretty mouth firmed. “I know you and he are still friends, but I have no problem giving him shit.”
Jack felt his mouth quirk into an unwilling smile. Ally never said a bad word about anybody, always tried to avoid any conflict, never liked to fight or argue. Unlike Carter. And here she was, ready to take him on. Interesting.
“You must be exhausted,” she said. “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”
He shook his head. “No, not hungry, but I am beat. It’s...” he glanced at his watch, “...four a.m. my time.”
“Oh, lord. Come on. I’ll show you the guest room.”
“I’ll just run out to the car and get my stuff.”
“Okay.” She blew out the candle and a wisp of jasmine-scented smoke curled up from it.
He turned and left the room, ran down the front door steps of her home in the dark to the rental car. He found his canvas bag on wheels and another of camera gear and hauled it all into Ally’s place. She waited in the hall.
Three bedrooms and a bathroom occupied the upper floor. By the hall light Jack could see a computer sitting on a desk in the third dark room. Ally showed him the bathroom, provided towels, then led him into the guest room. The furniture all looked like flea market finds, the old iron headboard painted a shiny white, the nightstand a chipped, scratched table. He dropped his gear in front of a dresser also painted glossy white. None of it matched, but the whole of it was charming.
Ally switched on a light and looked around. “It’s not luxurious,” she apologized. “I haven’t spent a lot of time decorating it. I don’t have many overnight guests.”
“It’s fine, Ally.”
They stood there looking at each other for a moment. She was so gorgeous―breath-stealing, heart-slamming, sexy-as-hell gorgeous. He longed to reach out and touch the silky, thick auburn hair, run a finger over those faint freckles on her nose. Her eyes grew darker and she swallowed.
“If you need anything, that’s my room.” She pointed across the hall. “Good night, Jack.”
“G’night.”
He watched her close her bedroom door, then shut his own. He was so exhausted he was seeing double, but he had a feeling sleep was going to be difficult.
He stripped out of his clothes and slid naked between the sheets of Ally’s guest bed, clicked off the lamp, then lay there staring at the ceiling. The moonlight shining in the window cast everything into blue and grey shadows.
What the hell was with Carter? He’d never told Ally he’d heard from him? Fuck! No wonder she was pissed at him.
And Carter cheating on Ally. The dumbass. He’d messed up the best thing he’d probably ever have. Jack had no idea who Carter had cheated with, but no way could she be anywhere near as great as Ally. What a fucking idiot Carter was.
Memories of high school when Carter had moved to Garden City swarmed Jack’s mind. Carter had apparently left a girlfriend in Mariposa, but it wasn’t long before he was dating Jenn. And how about all the times in college Jack had suspected Carter was screwing around on whatever girl he’d been dating at the time. Jack had never said anything to Ally about that. She never could see Carter’s faults. She just loved everybody.
He folded his arms behind his head, wide awake despite his body’s fatigue. Strangely, tomorrow he was about to call Brittany, who he hadn’t seen in nine years, about his new-found daughter―yet all he could think about was Ally.
He should be thinking about his daughter, dammit. Would he meet her tomorrow? What would she be like? He didn’t know much about kids. Nine years old...he tried to remember back to his own childhood. What, grade three? Four? His memories were faint.
It was bizarre, becoming a father overnight. He didn’t feel like a father. Not even a little. Could he even be a good father? And how could he have any kind of relationship with a child, when his job took him to the other side of the world? He almost choked on the panic rising in him.
Get a grip, man. He was here and he had to deal. He rolled over, punched the pillow flat.
But his thoughts drifted back to Ally. Seeing her again had been just as disturbing as he’d feared, but he wasn’t sure if the fact that Carter was out of the picture helped...or made it worse.

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Extreme Close Up Chapter 4

Ally stared at Jack. What was wrong? Had he been injured? She knew his work was risky, took him into dangerous areas…but he looked okay.
“What kind of problem?” Her stomach tightened and quivered. God, who would have thought she’d ever be nervous in Jack’s company? What had happened to them? Why had he taken off like that? And why was he back?
The physical changes in Jack were enough to throw her off. He’d always been good looking, tall and rangy, his light brown hair a bit shaggy. Now he was gorgeous, his skin tanned a deep bronze, his hair, still longish, lightened by the sun into gold and caramel streaks.
And he’d filled out. Where before he’d been lanky, he was now broad and muscular and hard. His shoulders seemed impossibly wide compared to the last time she’d seen him. His faded jeans hung on lean hips and a white buttoned shirt was loose over them, the sleeves rolled back on strong brown forearms.
His hands, holding the beer bottle, drew her eyes. He had beautiful hands. The way he held a camera, cradled the lens, manipulated the focusing ring with long, lean fingers had always been graceful and...well, sexy.
“Never mind that right now,” he answered. “Tell me what happened between you and Carter.” His mouth tightened into a hard line. Her eyes went back to his face and there she saw the most changes. Those intense sapphire eyes that had been eager, hopeful, and trusting were now shadowed and wary. What kinds of terrible things had he seen in the last five years?
Ally hesitated. It didn’t hurt like it once had, but talking about her break-up with Carter wasn’t her favorite topic of conversation. “He cheated on me. More than once. So I kicked his ass out of here. That’s what happened.”
His jaw went slack. Another shadow crossed his eyes. “He cheated on you? Oh, Ally.”
She shrugged. “It was a while ago. I’m over it.” She lifted the beer to her lips and drank, and the sharp bubbles burned her throat.
He looked at her with an odd expression, sympathetic eyes but his mouth twitched...almost like he wanted to smile. “I hope you kicked his ass.”
She choked on a laugh. “At the time it was devastating, and it still kind of stings, but...” she shrugged. “I’m okay.”
“I’m really sorry,” Jack said slowly. “That sucks.”
Yeah. It sucked to have someone you thought loved you - someone you’d been friends with for years, someone you cared about - turn around and skewer you in the back, rendering everything you’d shared meaningless and hollow.
And since that was the second time it had happened to her, her already beat-up psyche had been whacked pretty good. And here Jack sat, sympathetic and...completely clueless.
But he said he’d kept in touch with Carter. How could that be? Why wouldn’t Carter have told her that?
Silence weighed heavy on them as they looked at each other, Ally’s mind full of questions and simmering resentment. They’d been best friends and there had never been awkward silence like this between them. Her chest squeezed.
“How long are you here for?” she finally asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. As long as it takes.”
“Well. That’s pretty cryptic. Are you going to explain anything?” He closed his eyes. “Look. I came here because I have a problem and you and Carter are my two best friends.”
At that, something snapped inside her. She stood up, trembling. “No,” she said from behind clenched teeth. “We are not your two best friends. Best friends don’t disappear without saying a word. Best friends keep in touch. Best friends don’t abandon each other for no good reason.”
His mouth dropped open. “But...”
She held up a hand. “Now you have a problem you think you can just show up here and expect us to help you out. Where were you when I needed you? When my life was ripped apart?” She glared at him.
He blinked rapidly at her attack. “Ally...”
Again she held up a trembling hand. “No.”
Jack stood and stepped toward her. God, he seemed taller. Could that be possible? Maybe it was just because he was broader, darker.
“Ally, stop.” She backed away from him, but he grabbed her hands and held her there. He looked down at her and his eyes, full of pain and sorrow, reached into hers and touched something deep inside her. “I had a reason for leaving.”
She swallowed. “Oh, yeah? What was it?”
His gaze skittered away from hers. “Well, uh...”
She sighed with vexation. “Never mind.”
“I had no idea you were so mad at me.” Bewilderment drew his brows together.
“What the hell did you expect?”
“I thought you’d be happy to see me.” He shook his head. “I had no idea...Carter never said a word. Like I said, we e-mailed back and forth. I was traveling in some pretty remote areas, technology was iffy at times, and I didn’t always have time, but I did keep in touch. He told me you were doing great and you said hi and Merry Christmas and all that crap.” He let go of one hand to rub his face. “I don’t get it.”
“Neither do I.”
With the hand that still held her, he gave a tug and pulled her over to the couch and down, so they sat side by side. She inhaled Jack’s scent, a spicy musk scent warmed by his skin, as unfamiliar as if he were a stranger. She dug her trembling fingers into the upholstery.
“Do you have a new number for Carter?” he asked. “I want to call him.”
“Yes. I have it somewhere.” She paused, then stood and walked over to her purse sitting on a desk and pulled out her cell phone. She thumbed through her contacts and found Carter's new number. Jack called the number from his cell phone but there was no answer.
“Well, damn.” He snapped the phone closed. “Why wouldn’t he have told me he’d moved? I guess he never expected me to show up here.”
Ally took a deep breath, trying to come to grips with what was happening. Holy crap. Jack was back, sitting beside her and he was okay. Whole. In one...big...
gorgeous...piece.
She’d worried about him over the years. The day she’d come across his name in a photo credit had jolted her out of her wounded huff and led her to Google, which had revealed Jack’s incredible success. His photographs had been published in national magazines, newspapers, even international publications, winning award after award. But the things he’d had to do get those photos! After that, knowing where he was and what he was doing, she’d been terrified every time she heard in the news about any journalist or photographer injured in Afghanistan or Iraq, desperately searching the newspapers and the Internet for names.
She’d been proud of him, too, although reluctant to admit it because of her anger and hurt. She’d surreptitiously tracked his amazing photographs and career with pride and admiration...even a little envy.
But no way was she going to tell him that, now. The big jerk.
“Tell me about your work,” Jack said, leaning forward. She shifted away from him.
“I’m doing okay.”
Jack gestured to her home. “Looks like it.”

“I didn’t mean financially,” she said dryly. “Carter and I bought this place together. I had to buy him out of his half when he left, meaning I am now deeply in debt. But, whatever.” She paused. “After college, I took that job at LA Life Magazine as a junior editor. I learned a lot, and I started freelancing. I sold a fair bit, enough to make a living at it. Then, last year...” she paused, looked at him uncertainly. Hard to believe he hadn’t heard. “I sold my first book.”
His eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”
“You don’t need to look so shocked.”
“No, no. I’m not shocked. Of course I’m not. You’re a great writer. I’m impressed.”
“Thanks.” Her stomach cramped as she thought about her work in progress. Or rather, not in progress. So not in progress.
“Wow. What’s it about? What kind of book?”
“It’s a novel,” she told him. “Mystery/suspense.”
“That’s quite an accomplishment.”
She smiled. Yeah, it had been an accomplishment for her. She’d never really known that’s what she wanted to do. The book, strangely enough, had come out of the pain of Carter’s betrayal and her imaginings about revenge. Not long after that had happened, she’d started playing around with an idea and the words had spilled out of her. Which she could not say about her second project.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know about it,” Jack said slowly. “Carter never told me.”
“Well, it was after we broke up.”
He nodded, his face thoughtful. “But still...” He shook his head. “Congratulations. That is really fantastic.”
“Thank you.” Now was the time to congratulate him, too, on all his accomplishments - but she couldn’t bring herself to admit how she’d secretly tracked his career.
“I’d love to read it. I don’t suppose you have a copy?”
The thought of Jack reading her book made her feel like she was about to jump out of an airplane. “Uh...sure. I’ll see if I can find one.”
“That would be awesome.”
Silence expanded around them. Jack looked at his watch. “I guess I should go.”
“Where are you staying?”
He shrugged. “I thought I might impose on you and Carter, but of course I didn’t realize...the situation. I’ll track Carter down.”
“But...how?”
Jack shrugged, gave her a crooked smile. “It doesn't matter. I’ve slept in some hellish places. If I have to find a hotel room it won’t be the end of the world.”
“Are you just going to leave without even telling me why you’re here?”
Jack looked away and shoved a hand into his hair. He blew out a long exhalation. “Hell. No.”
She waited, curiosity and anxiety zinging through her.

Extreme Close Up Chapter 3

Starting today, every Friday I'll be posting my next free read EXTREME CLOSE UP:

Five years ago, talented photojournalist Jack Templeton took off for Iraq without even saying goodbye to his two best friends, Ally and Carter, after he saw them kissing. In love with Ally himself, he couldn’t bear to stay. Now a call from his high school girlfriend has brought him home. He needs his friends and hopes they’ll support him like they did in the past, although he dreads seeing them as a couple. But things have changed since Jack left. As his problems worsen and he realizes his feelings for Ally haven’t diminished, he struggles with choices between love and friendship, loyalty and betrayal, and saving a life...

My last story, INSATIABLE, attracted a lot of hits to my blog and got a couple of good reviews from readers at Web Fiction Guide Listings Insatiable, so I'm gonna do another one!


Chapter One

Leaving the way he had five years ago was one of the hardest things Jack Templeton had ever done. Since then, the things he’d seen and done had changed him, toughened him...hell, damn near killed him. And yet, coming home might be the hardest thing ever.
Jack checked the address he had for his friends, Carter and Ally. He wasn’t familiar with this part of Los Angeles. Garden City, California where he’d grown up was about a million miles away. He took another look at the map that he’d gotten from the rental car company at LAX and frowned. Yeah, this was it.
He wished he had a better reason to come home. His life was so screwed up right now, he still couldn’t believe it. He’d taken off five years ago to get away from an unbearable situation, and now he was coming home to just as big a mess. After the phone call from Brittany, the mother of all bombs might as well have exploded in his life.
He sat in the parked car for long moments while he worked up the nerve to go in. His stomach tightened with apprehension, his jaw ached. He glanced at his watch. Eight o’clock on a Friday evening. He hadn’t called ahead, so he had no idea if they were even home.
Their home. He rubbed at the tight ache in his chest brought on by thinking about Carter and Ally living together. His mouth tensed with determination. Ally and Carter had been his best friends – they’d be overjoyed to see him again, no doubt. He was just being an idiot.
He climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut, then walked up the sidewalk toward the building, one foot in front of the other, hands thrust in his jeans pockets. The older building had been converted to condominium units, maintaining the Spanish charm and character. The neighborhood wasn’t as upscale as Jack would’ve thought Carter would choose, but decent.
A basket of colorful flowers swayed beside the front door in the evening breeze. Ally’s touch, no doubt. Her favorite color – scarlet. The bright blooms matched the red door. He framed the image into a photograph with his eyes and his imagination - the vivid, saturated crimson of the door and flowers hot against the creamy stucco. Nice.
Again he hesitated before ringing the doorbell. Never mind watching bombs explode, seeing people killed, hearing people cry as loved ones died in their arms…watching Ally and Carter together was going to be the biggest test of his strength he’d ever experienced.
He pressed the button and waited, leaning against the wall. At first he thought he might get a reprieve, that there was no one home, but then he heard the locks on the door clicking.
The door opened and there was Ally.
Freeze frame.
She stood in the door, backlit by the light inside the condo, her hair a fiery halo, her slim body vividly outlined. It was as if the depth of field was shallow, Ally in perfect focus, everything else blurring out. His breath choked him, his heart pounded so hard he thought it might come right out of his chest.
She stared at him in complete and utter astonishment.
“Jack?” She slowly shook her head, her long, auburn hair sliding like silk around her shoulders.
“Ally.” He forced a smile. He studied the picture she made in the doorway. Her hair had grown longer, her body more rounded and curvy. He used to tease her in high school and college about being a skinny beanpole but now ...wow.
Her eyes had always done him in, hazel eyes sparkling with green, gold and brown, and had the ability to see right inside a person. Those eyes now stared at him, wide with shock and disbelief.
“What are you doing here?” Then she blinked. “God, that sounded rude.”
“But a perfectly good question.” He tried to sound light-hearted and friendly. “I’m home.”
Again, she shook her head slowly, then apparently realized they were still standing at her front door. She stepped back and held the door for him.
“Uh ...come in ...”
“Sorry I didn’t call.” He stepped inside, his gaze moving around. “I didn’t know if you’d be home on a Friday night.”
She gave a little laugh that he didn’t know how to interpret.
His initial impression of their home was color – vibrant and alive, like Ally.
He walked in further and Ally shut the door behind him. She led the way into the living room, furnished in an eclectic mix of antiques, refinished junk and new furniture. His photographer’s eyes took in the red walls and patterned carpet on the floor in shades of butter yellow, pale blue and red. Furniture upholstered in stripes, checks and solid red and yellow fabrics could have been wildly garish, but instead looked warm and comfortable.
“Nice place.” Especially compared to the tents and shacks he’d slept in over the years. Of course, there had been five-star hotels in Paris, London and Cairo as well, but not so often.
“Thank you.” She pushed a hand through her hair and continued to stare at him. “Please, sit down. Can I get you a drink ...?”
Yeah, he could use a drink right about now. “That would be great. Whatever you’ve got.”
“Beer?”
Hey, she remembered his beverage of choice. “Sure.”
She disappeared through another door and he took a seat on the sofa. His gaze moved from framed photographs on the wall, over a display of ruby, topaz and sapphire-colored glass bottles, to an overflowing bookcase. A fat candle sat on the ancient trunk that served as a coffee table, burning with a lazy flame and filling the air with an exotic floral scent – jasmine? – that took him back to the Middle East.
Ally returned with two bottles of beer. “I didn’t know if you’d want a glass,” she said. “I can get you one...”
He shook his head and took the proffered drink. “No, this is fine.”
“You always drank from the bottle,” she murmured. She sat in a chair across from him. She took a quick sip from her own bottle and looked at him...coolly. Hell, her gaze could inflict frostbite.
He’d expected a warmer welcome from his best friend after being away for five years. After all, it was him struggling with this whole deal, not Ally.
“Where’s Carter?” he asked, tipping the bottle to his lips. The sharp cold fizz tickled his throat as he drank.
Again she stared at him with confusion. “Carter? I have no idea.”
Now it was his turn for his mouth to drop open. “Huh?”
She and Carter had been living together for almost five years. Yet she didn’t know where he was?
She still stared at him, those amazing eyes pinning him there, and he started to sweat. “You don’t know where he is?” he asked stupidly.
She shook her head slowly, her slender brows drawn together. “Carter and I split up almost two years ago.”
Holy shit. That was not what he’d expected. He struggled to keep his face expressionless even as something - gladness? relief? – fizzed up inside him.
“I’m...I’m sorry,” he finally managed to say. “I had no idea.”
Why the hell not, was his next question. He and Carter had kept in touch over the years by e-mail. Not every day, or even every month, but he’d heard about Carter and Ally moving in together, Carter’s promotions in the prestigious law firm he worked for. He definitely would have remembered Carter telling him that he and Ally had split up. Weird.
“Well, how would you? Since we never heard from you.” The ice in her voice and her words took him aback.
He swallowed hard and gulped down a healthy swig of beer. “But I did keep in touch with Carter.”
She shook her head, a crease between her eyes. “No, you didn’t. You just took off without even saying good-bye, never told us where we could reach you, what you were doing. You could have been dead, for all we knew.”
“Carter knew where I was,” he told her with bewilderment. “I e-mailed him. I e-mailed him a lot.”
She stared at him, eyes huge. “No. He would have told me. We talked about it.”
Now he shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on,” he said firmly. “But I did e-mail Carter. He wrote me back with your news. I knew you two had moved in together.” He rubbed his forehead. “But he never told me that you’d split up.”
“I don’t get it either,” she said, her voice still frosty. “But it doesn’t matter. You never e-mailed me.”
That was true. Painfully true. They’d been best friends and he’d never contacted her once since he’d left.
“I’m sorry, Ally.” He made the apology but didn’t want to offer any more explanation. She looked at him with an almost hurt expression on her face.
“Never mind.” She waved a hand, sipped her beer. “It doesn’t matter.” She still looked unsettled and ...well, pissed. “So, tell me why you’re here, suddenly showing up out of the blue.”
He pressed his lips together and looked down at the beer bottle clasped in his hands, the glass icy smooth beneath his fingers. “Well. I have a bit of a problem. Hell, that’s an understatement.” He thrust a hand through his hair, looked everywhere around the room but at Ally. “I have a huge goddamn problem.”

EXTREME CLOSE UP Chapter 2